Lessons from Mom's Eulogy

Thanksgiving some years ago, sitting in Mom’s living room, I told her about something that had happened that summer. A friend of mine had finished a big project and received accolades but wasn’t pleased with the result - knowing he could have done more. She smiled at that part of the story since she knew that pattern: folks doing great things, but not being satisfied. There was always more that could be done.

I said “I told him, no, you succeeded, and you can do more next time, but remember your job is to make the world a better place and you are doing a really, really good job”. I’m not sure how to describe her facial expression when I said that, but I can tell you what it meant: I got the lesson right. She’d never said it to me in those words, but that had been the lesson: my job was to make the world a better place. It had been her job before me and Shannon, and is the same job for all of us still here.

Thinking about what I should say today about Mom, that memory stood out because it was a lesson I learned when I didn’t know I was being taught. A good teacher can do that, sneak a lesson in. That was one of many.

Another was that making someone you love happy is a gift for both of you. Growing up we had this old Electrolux canister vacuum cleaner, all green and grey plastic and silver steel. It looked like something out of the Jetsons. We had it in our houses in Cuba, and for as long as I lived on Commodore Overlook. One time when I was 11 or 12 years old, I took it into my room intending to vacuum and dust, but instead fell asleep on the edge of my bed.

When Mom came to tell me dinner was ready, she found me asleep, woke me up, and asked if I decided to nap why had I left the lights on. I replied “so the dust bunnies could see each other” and she laughed this surprised, genuine, happy laugh at my answer. That moment is stuck in my head because of what it meant to me - the joy of making someone I love happy.

I celebrate my Mom’s life each day by trying to make the world a better place and by trying to make the people I love happy. I didn’t have Mom for English or Phys Ed, but I had her as my teacher - and she was amazing.